Starting over

Two years ago if you would have told me that I will have to start my life all over I would have told you no way, that’s just too hard!  How does one rebuild lost or damaged relationships?  How do you get over all the wrong you have done?  Or even better, how do you break the bonds that the devil hold with you?  I don’t know how I am doing it but I am rebuilding my life!  The devil doesn’t think so, I just think he misses me!  Just like Jesus works through us for the good the devil works through us for the bad.  The sad thing is most people don’t know or see how both Jesus and the devil works!

The devil was trying to send me this message the other day.  “They are still going the wrong way but they think they are doing OK” This is what a “friend” I have on facebook posted on her wall and I know it was meant for me.  I wonder “who” told her that I was going the wrong way?  I don’t think Jesus would say that but I would put it past the devil to get her to say that.  The more you pull away from the devil the harder he will try to get you back!   What’s also wrong whit her statement is that I don’t have to “think” that I’m OK because I trust in the Lord and he will NEVER lead me wrong!

I’m sorry she feels this way because I have hurt her very much.  I pray that she can let Jesus come into her life and break the hold that the devil has on her.  We have to live a God centered life and not a “I” centered life but when you don’t know Jesus that’s very hard to do.

Joel Osteen said it best, “Losers focus on what there going through.  Winners focus on where there going”  I know that some day I’ll have a place in Heaven.  With out any doubt, Jesus has saved me.  Two years ago life wasn’t worth living, I wanted to die!  I thought about killing my self all the time but just couldn’t “do it”.  The two things that saved me was God and my mother.  I couldn’t do that to ether one of them.  But still, I wanted to die so bad; I even hoped that God would take me!

Life is so different now.  It’s not great, I still have some big problems to work out but because I know and  feel God’s love I want to live life!  Now I’m afraid to die.  So, no matter what others may think about me I know “I am not who I once was” and it’s not about me any more.  I have given my life to Jesus and now live by Gods commandments.  I no longer try to prove that I am going the right way to anyone, if what I do is right; it will show.  For the people who are going the wrong direction and see me going the other direction they can not see that they are the ones that are lost and may God open there eyes and find the way to Jesus.

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