I am trying to keep busy so my mind is not on Toby all the time. What I am finding out as my faith grows is my church is becoming my family and I feel so much love there. It’s like a home and you just know your welcome there any time. When I am at church it just feels so good and with the problems I am having with Toby, I need to be there. Tonight is choir practice at church and today I got this message from God that I should go tonight. So, I thought it would be nice to just be there and listen to them practice but God said No! I want you to join them and sing with them. I love to sing, but not when people can hear me and not in front of them. But that’s what I am going to do, and I love it. I feel God wants me to sing and he will make me better over time.
I worry about life without Toby and what it will be like. I have been praying for God to bring a Christian lady into my life that I can love. I’m not sure when it will happen but I know God wants me to be with someone and not alone. So many of us don’t know what it is like to live alone, we go from one bad relationship right into another (thanks Dr Phil). God wants us to be together and be man and wife. I know I’ll I find her (or she will find me) and we’ll be very happy and have a blessed life together. When we lose some one or some thing, it’s not about what we lost, it’s about what we get from the lost.
What I have learned this past week is God loves me and I have more friends that I know. I pray that God will provide me with friends to step forward and help me with Toby’s care. I don’t like to ask for help and it’s even harder for me to receive it. It’s very humbling experience and makes you realize what’s importing in life.