Life goes on 2.28.10

Well, it’s Sunday night and the end to a very relaxing weekend.  I told my fiancee Julie that I would blog tonight, I have so may things I want to do but never find the time to do them all.  I have to start making time and prioritize things better.  I am good at starting things but then some thing else will get my attention and I will forget about what are the things I need to do the most.  I feel lost some times, I don’t do what needs to be done all the time.  It makes me feel like I am lazy, why can’t I get it all together and get things done?  Some times I just don’t care, I’ll do it later.  I need to get on the ball and take care of all the little things.  Some times I think it’s because of my Crohn’s disease , my energy is not what it once was and that could be because of my Crohn’s.  I will find out next month as I will have a check up with my GI doctor.

This weekend, Julie’s mother and Aunt and Julie’s daughter Katey came down to visit.  This weekend was Acquire The Fire in Des Moines, it’s a 27-hour, life transforming event built around bringing volume and clarity to God’s voice in the lives of teenagers.  I was going to go with our youth group but canceled because I wanted to spend some time with Katey and Julies’s mom.  I was I could have been in two places at one time!  The youth group have a great time and I hade a great time getting to know Katey more.  I don’t tell most people how much I wish I was a real dad.  I have been in relationships before with kids involved, I’ve even been a “step-dad” but the kids had a “real” dad of there own.  I never felt close to them, I didn’t want to over step the line and push myself onto them.  I loved them but there was a kind of wall in between us that keep them from loving me.  They had a dad and I was there just when they  needed me.   Being a father to a sweet young girl who wants a daddy is the greatest gift a man could ever ask for.  I didn’t think I would ever get this chance, and I am so ready!

I know God has been getting me ready to be a dad for a long time now.  I also know I will make a great dad and look forward to all the great times (good and bad) together.  Julie and I are a great team and we have just started to see what we can do together.  We both have had some real hard times and have a long way to go but God is acting in our lives and we couldn’t be any happier.  I can’t wait to be with Julie more and more, it’s kind of hard right now but I know she is doing so much better.  I will do any thing for her, I love how she thinks and how willing she is to talk about her life.

Well, it wasn’t the best blog I have done but it’s nice just to put my thoughts down.  I am still kind of feeling some pain and I will work haft days for the next 3 days.  I am getting sleepy as I took a sleeping pill to help my shut down.  I don’t always get enough sleep and can stay up till after midnight and then have to be up at 4 or 5 AM.  Julie is so good for me and I have to start getting all my shit together.   I have never had someone who I talk to about any thing let alone someone who made me feel like I can do any thing.  I will (try) blog more tomorrow and let you know more about my life and feeling,  fun, I know.

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