It’s just another Saturday night here, not much going on. I have been kind of depressed due to cash. Bills are starting to pile up and my paycheck is not as big as it once was. I’m starting to cut back on driving and food the best I can. I missed some work last month due to a infected perianal abscess and had surgery to drain the abscess. Last week was the first week that I got to work overtime so next weeks check will be better! I have also been driving to Marion to visit Julie a lot and it’s 90 miles round trip. I wish she was closer, I love being with her. Today, I just stayed home to save on gas but tomorrow we are going to Julie’s church in Waterloo. I can’t wait to see the church were we will be getting married. We are praying for God to lead us to a place were we can live that will work of both of us.
I am trying to be strong, there is so much going on in my life right now. My dog Toby is having hip problems again and is not feeling well. I am still having problems with the abscess, it’s not healing and I have some pain. I can’t miss any more work, I need the OT so I can get my bills up-to date. It’s hard for me to talk about all the problems I am facing because of my arrest. Lets just say life is kind of hard for me right now! Some times I just don’t know how I will make it. I wish I could end it all, but that would be the easy way out and not right for my God and all of my friends. I have only me to blame for my problems and it will take time to fix it. I am trying but I am getting tired and want things to be easier. I don’t like asking for help and that makes it even harder for me to get out of the hole I’m in! I feel like I am sinking, with no where to turn. Oh well, It’s my fault any way.