Oh what to say, seem like just about every thing I say is taken wrong and then if I don’t say any thing at all, it’s taken the wrong way too. I am who I am and I know that there are a lot of wonderful people supporting me. Yes, I’ve made some mistakes and said some things I should have never said. I am so much more that what eyes see and it takes someone very special to “read” me. I am so thankful for the members of my church, there love for me is so great! I have a hard time trusting people but once I do, I really open up.
If you want to know the real me, look into my eyes. I love talking about life but don’t ask me to be someone who I am not. I have so much love inside of me, but I also have pain and I have a hard time letting others see it. I’ve played the games that people like to play too much now, is it so hard just to ask me; what are you thinking? or How was your day? I wish I could have done better, I wasn’t the best lover nor will I ever be. All I know is that I learn from making mistakes and if others can’t forgive me and help me grow from them, then they have some learning that they need to do too.
I am so thankful for a great job that I love, yeah I wish I didn’t have to work 50+ hours each week. Some days I don’t know how I get up at 4 AM! There are days that I would love to just work 8 hours, I love being home and having someone to talk to. Most people don’t know that I do all this while dealing with crohn’s disease. After working 10-12 hours I am so tired, I have to let my body rest but yet I still want to have fun. Getting old is not fun and working in a business that is very physically demanding is very hard on my body.
All I can say is love me as I am and if you can’t then it’s OK. All that matter is that God knows who I am and his love is all I need. If you don’t know me take the time and just maybe you will unlock something others couldn’t. Sure, it’s work, but any thing worth doing is worth the work it takes to get it done.
Thanks and God bless.