Big Changes ahead!

Just a short message about some BIG changes to my life! Don’t have the time right now to write much,  So I’m gonna tease you a little.  All I have to say is stay tune and I will update you very soon, maybe tomorrow. It’s getting late and I gotta be up through early for work tomorrow morning so I’m going to make  This short for now.  If you’re new to my blog or haven’t looked at it in a long time please stay with me and I promise you, some exciting news is coming about changes in my life!

Changes in life

I’ve haven’t keep up with this blog in the last few years. I have been bussy and haven’t taken the time to write! So much has changed in my life and big changes are still comming! Don’t know where to pick up at? Lets just say I feel very good given what I’ve been through the last 3 years. I am “single” again but for the first time in my life I can truly say I am happy. I have a great job that I love (how many of us can say that) and work long hard hours doing it. I moved back to my home town and am now neighbors with my brother. My mother passed away a few years back and my family isn’t very big and or very close.

My hope is to start using this blog the way I wanted to when I came up with the idea of broken Road Reflections.  I want to document and share some of my reflections of my lifes joys, Sorrows and mistake I have experience along the way.   One of the things I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that life is short and too precious not to  keep it to ourselves.  Even our pain and mistakes should be talked about and shared as our life goes on.

“I think about the years I spent just passin’ through
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you”

Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
If we can’t talk about and share our mistakes, hurts and fears in our lives then we waste that part of our life.  We only grow and heal when we can openly express our most inner fears and failures, and by doing so we grow and am stronger for it. That’s why this blog is here, so I can grow and my readers can grow and hopefully be able to experience joy and happiness in their life.


The ‘black dog’ of Depression!

The ‘Black Dog’ is the medical condition known as chronic depression, an experience that I have known a long time. I’ve had suicidal episodes in my younger days but even when manage well, the ‘Black Dog’ will always come to visit, now and then. Man and dog are companions, closest friends beyond all other creatures on earth. Depression too is an intimate relationship, unique and close to the person. Depression like relationships with a dog is not normally a brief or fleeting affairs, they are normally over a long period of time, it evolves, grows and deepens. Dogs are also unpredictable and sometimes prone to bite despite years of seemingly subdued and obedient behavior.
The statesman and politician Winston Churchill drew upon this image to conceptualize his own struggle with depression, and it is with him that the metaphor is generally associated. Churchill made frequent references to his Black dog as a powerfully expressive metaphor that appears to require no explanation. The combination of ‘blackness’ with the negative connotations of ‘dog’, noun and verb, seems an eminently apt description of depression: an ever-present companion, lurking in the shadows just out of sight, growling, vaguely enacting, always on the alert; sinister and unpredictable, capable of overwhelming you at any moment! Further, the ‘dark hound’ is an archetypal object of fear, with a long tradition in folklore and myth. Black dogs in dreams are interpreted negatively, often representing death; from all over the world come tales of nightmares caused by oppressive black dogs crushing the sleeper’s chest.
“I don’t like standing near the edge of a platform when an express train is passing through. I like to stand back and, if possible, get a pillar between me and the train. I don’t like to stand by the side of a ship and look down into the water. A second’s action would end everything. A few drops of desperation.”
Churchill was so paralyses by despair that he spent time in bed, had little energy, few interests, lost his appetite, couldn’t concentrate. He was minimally functional – and this didn’t just happen once or twice in the 1930s, but also in the 1920s and 1910s and earlier. These darker periods would last a few months, and then he’d come out of it and be his normal self. Churchill seemed to be aware that his depression was a medical condition. In 1911 a friend of Churchill’s claimed to have been cured of depression by a doctor. However, Churchill was writing at a time before the development of effective medication, when the main medical approach to mood disorders was psychoanalytic. Even though medical science is researching a cure for this mind-altering, personality-changing disease, the cause remains mysteriously elusive.
 Prevalence of Mental Illness
  • 6.9% of adults in the United States, 16 million had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.
  • Mood disorders, including major depression, dysthymic disorder and bipolar disorder, are the third most common cause of hospitalization in the U.S. for both youth and adults aged 18–44.
  • Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, the 3rd leading cause of death for people aged 10–24 and the 2nd leading cause of death for people aged 15–24.
  • Each day an estimated 18-22 veterans die by suicide.
I pray that you will care for those you know and love, who may live with chronic depression and or Mental Illness. Depression is a flaw in chemistry not character; it’s not a failing; it is a medical condition, and, in a certain perspective, possibly a gift given by God to certain creative and empathetic souls.

Unsinkable ships

On April 10, 1912, the RMS Titanic embarked on its maiden voyage, sailing from Southampton, England, to New York City. One of the largest and most luxurious passenger liners at the time, the Titanic was also considered by many to be unsinkable. On April 14, however, the ship struck an iceberg, and early the next day it sank.  On the morning of April 15, 1912, the sinking of the RMS Titanic the previous night shocked the world. The year had dawned bright with promise andthe maiden voyage of the Titanic was a symbol of the advances mankind had made in the last few years. When the Titanic embarked on her maiden voyage the world was filled with hope and awe. In just a few short days those emotions turned to horror and grief. We never know when we might face fear but when we do we must stare it in the face and walk through the fear and do the impossible. Because if you don’t, the fear grows. And it can grow so big that it becomes a gargantuan monster that will require the whole town to band together to destroy it! When something unexpected happens, your belief in yourself can waiver. This is exactly the moment you must not give up. You must face your fear or it will immobilize you.

Unsinkable ships, sink, unbreakable walls, breakSometimes the things you think would never happen,
happen just like that
Unbendable steel, bends, if the fury of the wind is unstoppable
I’ve learned to never underestimate the impossible.
~ Joe Nichols The Impossible (Unsinkable Ship)

We have to make a decision to either stand still in fear or move forward with God. If you’ve been afraid of something and desire to be free, the time will eventually come when you’ll have to face your fear and not run away from it.  Isaiah 41:10 says, Fear not, for I am with you.  I believe God works gently with us to bring us out of bondage and into liberty.

There are three antidotes to fear:

  • Fill your life with the truth. “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32 KJV).  The more you fill your mind with God’s Word, the more it will drive fear from your life.
  • Fill your life with love. “Perfect love casts out fear …” (1 John 4:18 NKJV). The more you get to know God, the more you will understand his unconditional love.  As you understand his deep love for you, you will see that his perfect love drives away your fear.
  • Fill your life with faith. As you begin to trust God and his perfect love for you, you will begin to overcome your fears.  Faith is God’s antidote to fear.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter how bad your circumstances appear, turn from your fear and expect Jesus to restore your life.  If we face our fears, trusting in faith that God will protect us and meet all our needs, He will be there for us, go through our fears with us, and help us conquer the insecurity in our lives.  Every time we overcome fear our faith grows.

Why Me Lord?

Music has always been very important to me.  As a young boy I love singing along to songs that was playing on the radio. One of the songs I remember the most was “Why Me” by Kris Kristofferson, something about that song stuck in my head and I would sing it to myself ever chance I could.  Most people wouldn’t call this a “Christian song”, “Why Me” was Kristofferson’s lone major country hit as a solo recording artist, reaching No. 1 of Billboard magazine‘s Hot Country Singles chart in July 1973. My faith journey to know the Lord didn’t start for me until later in my life.  Faith is defined as belief, confidence or trust in a person, object, religion, idea or view despite the absence of proof.  Most of my life I didn’t need the “proof” He (God) was with me and I was blindness to His love and kindness.

Try me, Lord, if you think there’s a way
I can try to repay all I’ve taken from you
Maybe Lord I can show someone else
What I’ve been through myself, on my way back to you

Kristofferson wrote Why Me during an emotionally low period of his life after having attended a religious service conducted by the Rev. Jimmie Rogers Snow. Like Kristofferson, I too went through a very emotionally low period in my life and in 2008 while spending a night in jail and facing prison time, I knew I needed Him!  It is that state of mind in which a poor sinner, conscious of his sin, flees from his guilty self to Christ his Saviour, and rolls over the burden of all his sins on Him. With a deep sense of sin and a distinct view of Christ and a consenting will, and with a loving heart, I turned over my trust to Christ that night.

Today, I live because of God’s good grace and look ever day to be able to “repay” all I have taken from life. I pray that someday I can help others who are facing some of the same problems I did and just, maybe I can show them what I went through and how I found my way back home.

God bless,