Changes in life

I’ve haven’t keep up with this blog in the last few years. I have been bussy and haven’t taken the time to write! So much has changed in my life and big changes are still comming! Don’t know where to pick up at? Lets just say I feel very good given what I’ve been through the last 3 years. I am “single” again but for the first time in my life I can truly say I am happy. I have a great job that I love (how many of us can say that) and work long hard hours doing it. I moved back to my home town and am now neighbors with my brother. My mother passed away a few years back and my family isn’t very big and or very close.

My hope is to start using this blog the way I wanted to when I came up with the idea of broken Road Reflections.  I want to document and share some of my reflections of my lifes joys, Sorrows and mistake I have experience along the way.   One of the things I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that life is short and too precious not to  keep it to ourselves.  Even our pain and mistakes should be talked about and shared as our life goes on.

“I think about the years I spent just passin’ through
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you”

Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
If we can’t talk about and share our mistakes, hurts and fears in our lives then we waste that part of our life.  We only grow and heal when we can openly express our most inner fears and failures, and by doing so we grow and am stronger for it. That’s why this blog is here, so I can grow and my readers can grow and hopefully be able to experience joy and happiness in their life.

 

Life

Man, it’s been a long times since if posted any thing about me!  Life is still going on! lol  Yeah, it’s not been easy and I’ve been “burning the candle at both ends” a lot the last month.  I have been blessed with a new church, didn’t plan on changing churches, it just happened.  I been working real hard on starting up my I am second small group and maybe that’s why God lead me to St. Mark’s in Marion.  I’ve been “single” (I hate that word) now for about 2 years and I am OK with it.  I think God wants me to be single, that way I can do more for Him. lol. But I know He doesn’t want us to be alone and I keep praying for to Him that he’ll bring someone into my life.  All that I ask for is that she be a Christian and loves music, any thing else I can deal with.

Last year for my birthday, I got myself a guitar and hope to take lessons.  I wish I would have never gave it up back in JR high!  I’m just not sure that I can learn to play again!  I watch youtube videos and try but my fingers are so big, it’s not easy to finger the frets.  A week after a got my guitar, I was blessed with the opportunity to start working with one of the best country band around this area.  I am so happy to be helping Black Diamond and have the chance to learn from some of the best musicians around.  I also want to try to learn to play keyboards too but what’s been in my heart all of my life is singing!  I never thought I was good enough and until I started to sing with the choir at my old church that  I started to learn that I was wrong.  I have always dreamed of singing on stage (who hasn’t right?) but why?  It’s not about me, it’s my way of expressing what life has taught me and giving hope to others who need it.

Well, stay tuned. I’ll try to post more “Broken Road Reflection” about God, life, love.

Kent

Yellow Rose.

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote anything. Every thing is about the same, just working my ass off and trying to have a little fun on the weekends too. Still single, went on a date a few months back but were just friends. I’m starting to learn to dance again and love it, wish I had more chances to do it but it’s not easy when your all by yourself. I love music so much, it’s a way to express yourself and relaxing too. I want to get more into singing but not sure if I should, I love singing at church but have kind of fallen off the wagon at church the last 4 weeks. I am not the kind of person to hold things in for very long, I like expressing how I feel and if that gets me into trouble, well, so be it. I kind of miss not blogging about what’s going on in my life, I know most people don’t read this far, so if I still have you; THANKS! I have a good group of friends, most of the only on facebook because I can be a loner at times. If you take the time to get to know me, you’ll see I can be a very good friends and even make you laugh (and cry) at times.

I miss living in the country, I loved working on the farm and just being outside. I love to find someone who loves the same things, just being together and enjoying what life brings. I had it once when I was real young and then she left me and life hasn’t been the same. I’m not going to give up on finding my Yellow Rose, I know your out there. This cowboy is waiting, but unlike Johnny in this video, I’m not a drifter any more. I’ve seen my Yellow Rose but I don’t know if she knows how I feel or even if she cares but still, I’m going to give it a try and see where this ride takes me.

Alone

Just feeling kind of down and missing my dog! I hate being alone but it’s all I know any more. My heart hurts, I want to be able to love again and think I’m not good enough. I try so hard to keep my head up but sometimes I wonder if anyone even cares. I know I have a great group of friends but it’s not the same as having someone you love with all of your heart. I don’t know if she will ever find me, maybe I should just forget about being loved. Oh, I know I can’t stop looking for love, but wish it wasn’t so hard. Think I’ll just spend some time with God and pray that he can help me.

RIP Toby! You will be missed.

About 2 weeks ago, I had to do what I didn’t want to do! I had to put Toby to sleep, it was the hardest thing I have ever done but I know Toby isn’t in any pain now. He couldn’t use his back feet at all and was in so much pain. I can’t express how much Toby meant to me, his love and companionship made life bearable. I am doing ok, well it’s not easy but I know Toby wants me to be happy and life without him now is very different. I hate being alone and my cat, Pretty Kitty is loving me up but I know she misses him too.

I want to fall in love again!!! I just hate trying to date and all the games that go alone with that. I know I am worth it even with all the “baggage” I bring. I am praying that God will bring a loving woman into my life who can see the real me and let me take down the walls I have up. Life is not meant to be lived alone and now that Toby is gone, I feel more alone that I ever have and I don’t like it. I sometimes keep things to myself and I have gone too long without expressing how I am feeling. I have nothing to hide and what ever I say is how I am feeling at the time and I don’t care who knows it or what they may think about me. I’m going to say it and just let God have the control as to who will come into my life and love me for who I am.

I have a kind heart and it hurt me very much to put Toby to sleep but I know I have so much love to offer someone. If she takes the time to get to know me, she will see it, I just know better days are ahead. I owe to Toby to give it my best and to keep fighting for what I want.