Life goes on 3.1.10

Time to write again, don’t really know what to say.  Right now what I think the most about is Julie and how she motivates me to think about life and how God is working in our relationship.   I have always believed in God but just never made the time to go to church.  Most of the women I dated were not true Christians and we never talked about it.  I would think about what it would be like to have a girlfriend who loved Jesus and we could worship him together.  I just never gave having a Christian relationship top priority, I would look for other things but I didn’t care if she loved God.  That changed after my divorce, I was tired of finding the wrong women.  What I was doing wasn’t working so this time, I just asked God to bring a women into my life.  All I wanted this time was for her to love God as much or more than me, that’s it.

The other thing I love about Julie is how she writes about all the things going on in her life.  I love talking about my life and how I am feeling and being able to share that with someone I love is wonderful.  Keeping your feelings to yourself does not help any and it also does not help others.  So many times we think it’s all about us and what others can do for us.  I have gotten tired of being selfish and looking out for my needs.  It’s time I started doing good of others, my needs can wait.  I was OK with being single but having someone who believed like I did and thought like I did would be a dream come true.    The One thing I NEVER ever even thought about was being a father,  I thought I was getting too old.  I kind of gave that up a while back.  My biggest regret is not have a son or daughter to love.  I have wanted so bad to be a dad but I just gave up on it.  The thing is, I think about having a daughter more that a son.  I don’t know why this is, maybe it has some thing to do with her being “daddy’s girl”.  I have never had anyone call me daddy and love me for being there for them.  I have had come close, there have been kids who knew that I was there for them but they had a real father, and to them I was just Kent; nothing more.

I am so happy that this time I did it the right way by trusting God.  Every thing I want from a relationship, God is giving me.  It’s not all easy but I know God has blessed this relationship and it’s worth the work and any hard times we might have.  There will be bad days but we both are willing to work on it and we know God has other plans for us.  Living in love and having a very strong faith is very important to me, negative just does not work for me.  I am tired of the fights and hurting each other, the time has come to love no matter what happens.  Tomorrow is a new day and letting go of pass hurt and stepping out in love is what we need to do to move on.