Get into the boat.

God granting miracles

A religious man is on top of a roof during a great flood. A man comes by in a boat and says “get in, get in!” The religous man replies, ” no I have faith in God, he will grant me a miracle.”

Later the water is up to his waist and another boat comes by and the guy tells him to get in again. He responds that he has faith in god and god will give him a miracle. With the water at about chest high, another boat comes to rescue him, but he turns down the offer again cause “God will grant him a miracle.”

With the water at chin high, a helicopter throws down a ladder and they tell him to get in, mumbling with the water in his mouth, he again turns down the request for help for the faith of God. He arrives at the gates of heaven with broken faith and says to Peter, I thought God would grand me a miracle and I have been let down.” St. Peter chuckles and responds, “I don’t know what you’re complaining about, we sent you three boats and a helicopter.”

This Joke got me to thinking about how sometimes we take all the good things God blesses our life with.  We pray for many things and we know what we want but yet when the blessings pass us by because only see what we want to.  God can bless us in many ways  with  things that look the same, maybe a  job, a home or someone to love us.  Our idea of what we want is not going to be the same as what God will offer us, it’s up to us to not over look it and jump in the boat when it comes our direction.

Alone

I have been doing real good being alone.  Working 50 plus hours helps to take my mind off Julie.  This is the first week I have off in over 5 weeks and I sleeped all day!  Went out for dinner and then back home.  I have been getting things set up the way I like them, making it a home, LOL.  Yesterday I asked Julie to add me as a friend on facebook again and she did but then last night she removed me.  I was very hurt, I know the laptop computer I gave her is not working and I post a note that I had another power supply that should work and that she had her Dell desk top hear too.  Don’t know if she’s mad that I posted that to her wall?  I care very much for Julie and I hurt much more than what shows!  I would have never just walked out on her like she did to me.

I don’t like giving up and I need to let go of the pain Julie has caused me but giving up without talking about her problems.  She was mad that I didn’t talk about mine  and it was wrong for me to put up walls.  I am willing to talk, some times I talk too much and end up saying things that I don’t think over real good.  I miss Julie, wish I could talk right now.  I am real depressed, having some bad thoughts.  I can’t kill myself but wish I could.  I feel like you all would never care any way.  All I herd from Julie was how bad I was for her and how unhappy I made her life. 

It’s for the best that I am alone, I’m not lovable, I end up !@#$ things up any way.  I DON’T CARE ANY MORE!  I want to run and hide,  I can’t do this any more.  I have been trying so hard for so long and you just don’t see it!!!!  I did all I could for Julie, I visited her as much as I could when she was in the Abby, been with her in the hospital, cried at night when I couldn’t be with her.  I need someone who will love me back just a little, someone who cares about my feeling too.  I have a right to be who I am, even if it’s not the best I can be at the time.

The love of my life (Part 1)

After being married for 7 years and going through a tough divorce finding the love of my life was the last thing I wanted to find.  I’ve been loved before but was it the “love of my life”, I can’t say any of the women I loved was.  I loved them all and even with a bad marriage I still though I was “loved”.  Boy was I wrong, loving someone more than they love you is not good.  It hurt trying to love someone who couldn’t be loved and knowing that I’m not getting what I needed.  Being single for over a year was the best thing for me, I learned that I could live without having someone to love me.  I tried dating for a while but think I wasn’t ready yet so I kind of put finding love on the back burner.

What changed was how I looked at dating.  In the past I was in control and had a list of what I wanted in a relation with a woman.  Since this way of finding a mate has not worked the greatest I though what not try a very different way.  Since Jesus has come into my life and saved me, I have been blessed.  Before I knew Jesus I though life was all about me and how good of a lover I was.  God changed all that, I realize it’s not all about me and thinking I am so good is wrong.  Since being saved I have been praying ever morning and ever night and some times I just talk to God.  What I did for dating didn’t work so I thought why not let God be in control of my dating.  My love for God is very strong and I am still learning so finding a mate who loves and worships God as much if not even more could be very hard to find.

I would pray at night for God to bring a lady into my life who loves you, that’s all I asked for.  I would pray,  “God, I don’t know who she is or where she is at,  just bring her into my life.  I don’t know when it will happen dear Lord but I know she is out there.  Who ever she is Lord, I will accept and love her”.  Like so many others, I have gotten hooked on Facebook and have been adding to my list of friends.  I didn’t use facebook much before being saved but since I have been going to church I use it to stay updated with my church family.  I even made a group page for my church and have made new friends both on and off facebook.  Facebook is a good way to learn about what others are doing with there faith and how God is acting in there life.  That got me to think that maybe I could do a search for women from Iowa who loved God.  I think I searched for, Single Women, God, Iowa and 35-45 years old.  The results I got  most of the time was there name and maybe a picture.  Out of the list I had, I picked maybe 10 or 12 names and sent them a friends request, some times I would include a little note about why I was asking to add them as a new friend.  Since none of them knew me at all, I was taking a chance and just wasn’t sure if this would work for finding a new friend let alone a mate.

To be continued tomorrow…..  Update, Click here to read part 2